When my babies were in the NICU (during a pandemic) I voiced my emotions to someone of how difficult it was to leave me babies every night, and they responded with, "you couldn't pull me away from my baby's bed if you tried." That sentence haunted me for the rest of our NICU journey.
But the truth is, this person would leave their baby. They may not think they would, but they've never been in a situation like I was in. If they were in my shoes, they absolutely would leave the NICU. If they wanted to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom they would leave the NICU. And that is okay! It is normal. At both NICUs we were in, you could not sleep on the floor next to your baby's isolette. Parents weren't allowed to bring food in, so we had to leave to eat. Mom needs to eat and sleep just like baby so she can be focused on listening to providers throughout the day. It pained me beyond words to leave, but I had to take care of my basic needs so that I could be my best self to take care of my babies.
So....
To the NICU mom with older kids at home, you're doing a great job juggling everything. All of your babies need you, and you're being pulled many directions. Don't feel like you're failing any of them. They see you trying your best and they think you're a superhero. It will be over soon.
To the NICU mom who had to go back to work. You're doing an amazing thing by taking care of your baby financially while they are working hard to grow and get stronger! You're doing an amazing job! Don't feel guilty. It will be over soon.
To the NICU mom who has to drive more than an hour to the hospital. Gas and fast food adds up. Even if you can't make it every single day, you make the time you're there count. You are doing an amazing job, your baby knows you as soon as you walk in. Keep doing what you can. It will be over soon.
I'm sorry not everyone understands. Just know there is a huge community of fellow NICU moms out there who understand exactly what you're going through. You aren't alone. You aren't a bad mom. I'm sorry if someone made you think you were, but I think you're amazing. It will be over soon.
